Anecdote!

- Children, you have been given at home essay on 'My favorite program '. Tell me, Little Johnny, you yourself wrote or helped your dad? . - Well then, tell my father that the transfer can not only receive but also to look.


- Doctor, I have a member of the Red.
- He remembers someone....


One night back with my girlfriend from school, the road is long distance, bus packed.
We stand face to face, huddled close to each other, I gently stroked her thighs and her face zero emotion.
I am plagued by vague doubts that something is wrong, ask her a question:.
- Do you enjoy it?.
It looks to me like a fool, and then a female voice from somewhere in the side of quiet and a bit confused says:.
- It's my pleasure.


The inscription on the toilet with blood:.
' Hurrah! .


My sister caught me masturbating and called a pervert. The next day I caught her at the same. And again she called me a pervert.
There is no justice in the world.

- The recently discovered that the ancient Greeks did not quenched your thirst with water, dilute wine. I decided to try.
- And what?.
- The Greeks were right. Water, so do not get drunk.

Well, why are you here? . Why did you come to this magnificent machine, all ironed, why this bouquet of roses, champagne - to bring me?.
- No you @ Bat.


And I have a clogged toilet at home. Clogged, you know, in a corner and cries: ' Enough, enough! '.

Estonians love to watch frolic in the trees sloths.


Husband and wife - a Satan, but a wife - the same.


When the head is sick - in the team is becoming a healthy atmosphere.


New Shauma made ​​my hair so voluminous that even the fly does not close!.


The scientific ship is not the first month of hanging out in the sea. The people on the sly.
begins to drink. The captain decided to stop the case and collects the entire team at.
status meeting.
- Well, then, due to the increasing incidence of alcoholism, I hereby order: all.
vodka - overboard.
There was a deathly silence. Suddenly, from somewhere in the back row hear:.
- Well, it says the captain, really long time to all of it overboard!.
The team exploded with indignation:.
- And you, divers, generally did not give the word!.


For anyone - just a driver's license, and for inspectors - Bread Card!.


- Mr. Kutuzov - what 's that burning away?.
- Khimki!.
- Why?.
- I train!.


damn, women as more than statistics, to whom they then give that?.

After the wedding night. He:.
- Honey, I realized that I was not the first time you.
She ( lighting ):.
- Yes. And I realized that and did not last!.

One man got in the mail a declaration of income from the tax office.
He sent it back with a little cover letter:.
' I'm not going to join your stupid Society. Your profile.
attached '.

A colleague asks the groom:.
- Do you have pictures of your bride in the nude?.
- Of course not!.
- Want more?.

Bush in Albania at the reception. Fits to the president of Alfred Moses.
confused said:.
- Excuse me, a colleague, but I think I have gone hours. However, the.
I may have lost their self.
Moisiu sympathetically asked:.
- And you did not pay attention to who was at the time with you?.
Bush pointed to some upstart. Moisiu joyful shouts.
- So that's my prime minister, Sali Berisha! .
After a while he comes back to Bush, playing for hours and.
asks:.
- It's not your watch?.
Bush happily accepts his watch and asks:.
- And that the said Mr. Prime Minister? .
says:.
- Said? .

Moscow - the only city in the world where you can enter in the ass.
when you're ahead of oncoming.

Having spent 10 years on the island, Robinson Crusoe, sadly said:.
- Ugly women do not exist!.
Then another 10 year secondary thought, and added:.
- Yes, and men, too.

Representatives of Gazprom's claim that the Ukrainians are stealing gas.
At the same time saying, '. our Ukrainian colleagues. '.


My aunt came to the artist and asked to draw a portrait of her:.
- Only draw with brylyantovym necklace around his neck, with ruby.
earrings in the ears, with a garnet bracelet on his wrist and a gold.
Rolex on his arm!.
- But you also do not have any of that! .
- You draw, but I'm going to hang the portrait at home! .
if I die before my husband, he was an old male, married there and then.
young, -so it is torment, trying to find these gems!.

Guy rides the bus and outraged:.
- What the young people went! .
places can not give!.
He was asked:.
- What are you outraged? .
- A wife is worth!.

No, folks, only in our hotels in a double room can be.
one chair and four faceted glass.

For forty years Moses led the Jews through the desert, but all to no.
Susanin something with her for a couple of days, coped.

Only in Russia can enter a special collection of computer.
...

Moscow, Rublevskoe, inspector DPS stops Bentley, the excess.
speed triple, Bentley stopped ajar tightly.
tinted glass.
Policeman under the hood:.
- Inspector Petrov, your documents.
Bentley protrudes from the arm with a five thousandth denomination, the inspector of hides.
in pocket.
T. All the best, try not to break more.
out of the window displays the following bill of the same rank.
T. And be careful, after two quarters of one crew.
over five thousandth.
D: looking into the number of the car - I work here Tuesday / Thursday from 8.
morning until 15:00, I'm your number memorized, these days you can go.
quietly.
Again note of five thousand.
T. Happiness, good health to you, smart kids, success in business, that dog in the.
competitions and won tons. n.
again, the hand with the denomination.
Inspector for some time is in disarray, and then cough and.
says. ' POEMS! '.

11 new themes for the magazine Cosmopolitan:.
a. Thong or tango: 306 new arguments for and against.
2. The new car: how to choose a teddy bear.
3. Sex on the Beach: How to shake the sand.
4. You and your best friend: why not?.
5. Secrets of Health: Learning to breathe strips.
6. Lessons from business: how to profit from her husband's betrayal.
7. Entering the washing machine: Mode Easy Care.
8. And yet, Nietzsche or Schopenhauer: choose a name for your puppy.
9. Fashion trends of the season, what should be hung on a string from a tampon.
10. The rules of etiquette: 5 places you should not take with a vibrator.
11. How to suck on a jeep.